AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think that it's finally time for Chris and me to go our separate ways. It's really been a long time coming as many of my friends can attest, I'm sure. I'm not particularly bitter, and since we've dragged our relationship on well beyond it's lifetime, I'm not particularly weepy. I'm sad, of course, because there are many reasons that I've stayed with Chris and that I love(d) (when does that end, exactly) him. In any case, the point of this blog is not to drivel on about that, but to complain because I have ABSOLUTELY no idea where I'm going to live. Of course I will bring Larkin with me and I would prefer to bring Bear as well, but I seem to be hitting a huge wall. No one will accept Rottweilers in their rental properties. Even the pet-friendly listings that say they accept all dogs won't accept "breeds determined to be aggressive." This makes me angry on so many levels. In the first place, I need a place to live. But, in the grander scheme of things, my dogs are not aggressive. No Rottweiler that I've ever met that was loved and cared for has been aggressive. They are loving, cuddly, lap dogs that like nothing more than to curl up with you on the couch. Yet, I cannot find a place to live because someone decided that they were a threat. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. The fact that I want to keep both of them doesn't seem to be the issue. The fact that either of them is a rott is the issue, so two or one, I will run into the same problem.

And yet, I continue to write

So, after posting a blog about how much I hate my blog, I have subsequently continued to blog. I guess I was crying wolf a little bit. Or, just saying that even the hatred I harbor for my blog is not enough to make me stop writing more for me to hate.

I have new hair. I cut off almost a foot of hair. Now, I have a bag of hair in my car, waiting to be sent to Locks of Love so they can make a wig out of it. I hope it makes a nice wig. My remaining hair is wonderful, and dark. Because if you're going to spend $100 getting your hair did, you better be sure that people will notice when you're done. People definitely noticed. And I love it, and I better, since I can't really glue the hair back on (although I guess I could since I still have the bag of hair).

Oh, and...

Lexi broke the handle off of the refridgerator several weeks ago because she wanted in it very badly, but the child lock was fastened. Neither Chris nor I could even be mad because it was such an amazing feat of strength and perserverence, that we were just in awe. In the picture it's not completely off yet, but it fell off shortly after I took the picture. (Pay no attention to my dirty stove!)

I hate my blog

I've been reading other people's blogs today, mainly because I'm bored at work. I have work to do, I'm just lacking the motivation to do it (story of my life). Anyway, I've decided that I can't stand my blog because it's not particularly funny or insightful or witty. It doesn't sound like the blogs that I've been entertaining myself with today. Not that it should sound just like them, but there is a certain intangible quality that good blogs have. Mine does not have it. I should just stop writing...

In other news, I've decided not to run the marathon. Maybe next year.

I wish I knew then...

I guess part of getting older is gaining perspective on things, on life. There aren't a lot of decisions I've made that I regret, but, given the chance, there are a lot of things I would have done differently.

I feel like I've done a great deal of changing lately, and most of it, I hope, is for the better. Don't get me wrong, I've got a long way to go and I have no intentions of ever stagnating, but I'm starting to see things with a broader perspective. Maybe I'm just late in developing. I know a lot of people who changed dramatically in college and then that was who they were/are. I don't know. It's just that lately the little things that would have previously bothered me haven't seemed like such a big deal.

I had a really horrible experience with a co-worker during a training that I was running the other day. Three years ago (when I did trainings for a living), it probably would have crushed me, or made me implode, I'm not sure which. And while I still had to tell people all about the details after it happened, and I'm harboring a fair amount of distrust for this person, it didn't impact my life with the magnitude it would have previously.

About a month ago, my co-ed softball team played in an all-night tournament. It's a very long story, but in brief, our pitcher got drunk off his ass and embarassed the entire team by throwing a temper-tantrum on the mound and then walking off in the middle of an inning and hitting everything he could get to with a softball bat. There were other things that went on as well, but without that catalyst, they would not have ruined the evening. I do wish that I had handled myself with more composure when it was actually happening, but maybe that, too will come. The great part is that I just quit playing with them (I finished out the tournament, but I'm not playing in our league anymore). And while this may sound childish, it's not. It's great. It doesn't matter to me. I'm not mad anymore; I'm not angry at our pitcher. I just don't want to be associated with a team that acts like that because it's not who I am. Suddenly, winning a stupid softball game doesn't seem so important. So I quit.

Bring it on!

I finished my last tri of the season a couple of weeks ago. I was a little slower than I wanted, but I was tired from playing in a softball tournament in the 90 degree heat the day before, so I gave myself a pass on the few minutes I would have like to have made up.

Now to the marathon training...this is unchartered territory for me and it's both exciting and incredible intimidating at the same time. On one hand, I have confidence that as long as my knee doesn't bother me, I'll be able to do it. On the other hand, though, I think about what it will be like to continue to run for more than 4 hours without stopping (hopefully) and that seems really daunting. And sometimes it sounds downright crazy!

Survivor

I didn't make a video AGAIN this year. But I was in Ann Arbor for work last week and I happened to catch a commercial that said they would be hosting open casting calls at the Ann Arbor Art Fair Thursday and Friday, so I decided it was a sign...After we got done Friday afternoon I headed down, turned in my application, and made a video. It wasn't nearly as cool as the real video I had been imagining, but let's face it--I will be a procrastinator for the rest of my life, so the chances of me making a video next year are no better than this year. At least I'm in the pool of millions of other people who want to be on the show. I'm sure they'll call...any day now...probably Jeff Probst himself...so don't tie up my phone lines, ok?

plodding along

I finished my first Olympic distance triathlon on Sunday. Officially, an Olympic tri consists of a 1.5K swim, a 40K bike, and a 10K run. Of course, it's difficult to make the bike course match that exactly, so give or take a mile.

I had a blast! I finished in 2:42, which was faster than my goal, and put me 5th out of 11 in my age group. I really like this distance; I had time to kind of settle into a rhythm in all the legs, although maybe too much of a rhythm in the swim because my time was SLOW! I did get my goggles kicked (or pulled...I'm not really sure what happened) off my face, so there was some time dedicated to trying to tread water with just my feet while putting the goggles back on my face (you try it!). Luckily, I was almost done when that happened, so when the goggles started letting in water because I couldn't get a good seal while in the middle of the lake, it wasn't a big deal and I just kept going.

One more tri for the summer...and then if I can get my knee back to some level of normalcy, the marathon in October.

back to the baby gate

Lexi is the most horrible dog ever! (I'm sure that there are some that are worse, but I've never met them.) I bought another baby gate at Target last night in an attempt to limit her to only the kitchen during the day when we're not home. Unfortunately, the other dogs will suffer in her containment because they will have to stay in the kitchen, too, but I'm pretty sure they sleep all day, so it's probably not a big deal.

We abandoned the baby gate idea several years ago after she finally broke the baby gate we had. I think she chewed on it until it fell apart. In any case, she could jump over the baby gate at a normal height and if you raised it high enough that she couldn't jump it, she could shimmy under it. But, 30 pounds and a bad hip later, I'm pretty sure she won't be able to do that anymore. We tried other alternatives such as blocking the door with the dog cage. She climbed on top and over--leaving her free to roam the house and the other dogs stuck in the kitchen distraught because they couldn't get out. We also tried leaving her in the cage during the day, but there is a lot of barking involved in that because she's pissed that she's in a cage, and we feel sorry for our neighbors. So, it's back to the baby gate--we'll see how long it lasts this time!

Adventure Racing

If you take the title literally, we definitely excelled at the adventure race yesterday. Taking the rules of the competition into consideration, we were at the bottom of the pack.

9:30 am Pre-race briefing. We are given a copy of the rules, a card to punch our checkpoints (CPs), and a map. A very primitive topo map. This was when I began to think we might be in over our heads. How do we find a check point in the woods? I've never used a compass before.

10:00 The race begins: Well, we came in first at one thing--I was the first person out of anyone in a boat. Woo Hoo! In short order we learned several things. 1. Sitting in the middle of canoe results in several things--shoulder cramps and swam ass. Sorry, Beth! We also learned that I cannot steer a canoe with any sort of reliability and that we cannot travel in a straight line to save our lives. An hour and five minutes later, we were out of the water with 4 CPs punched (ahead of one team).

11:05 The mountain bike begins. A little background--the bike was the part we were least worried about. Although none of us had really done any mountain biking (minus the trip to Alum Beth and I took Tuesday and the crash course Betty had with Chet on Saturday), but we had done our fare share of road biking. We planned to knock out what we estimated to be 8 miles in an hour an a half. Hah! We might have been a little naive in thinking that the trail would be well marked and not require much map reading. Early into the ride, flew past a group of four women that were pulled off after a wreck (we did check to make sure they were ok). Then we got lost. Fast forward about three more hours, after we passed the group of four two more times and took another wrong turn, we made it back to base, leaving us with about 45 minutes to hit at least one check point to make the race count.

3:15 We go in search of the CP. We decided to tag along with the group of four ladies who we passed on the bike. We figured that while we were faster, they had managed to navigate their way through the whole race course without getting lost. And, at this point, all we wanted to do was hit one CP. We punched our card at the CP behind the cemetery and hoofed it back to base on the road (there was a path through the woods that was much closer, but we no longer had any faith in our ability to follow a trail, so we opted for the longer, but sure route). The group of four took the path and beat us back, but we probably wouldn't have found the CP without them, so we didn't care.

"mountain" biking

I rode the Level 1 Trails at Alum Creek yesterday for the first time and it was AWESOME. I know it's not really mountain biking because we are in Ohio after all, but riding over the logs and jumps they have set up is a total rush! I can't wait to do it again (like this weekend at our adventure race). I did fall once and bruised my leg, but nothing major...maybe in a few months, I'll do the level 2!

I guess I haven't written in a while...

This is why I hate blogs. I haven't written anything in over a month and I don't really feel like I have anything interesting to say, yet I feel obligated to write.

I'm trying a new training routine that involves 6 days on, 1 day off, with one day of two workouts. It sounds overwhelming, but I'm trying not to think about that part and just give it a try. If my body stages a revolt, then I will go back to 5 days on with 2 days off.

I signed up to play ultimate frisbee this summer. I'm pretty excited, but I don't know ANY of the rules/how to play/how to throw/etc. I guess it's trial by fire...

Some friends and I are going to try a couple adventure races this summer which I'm pretty geeked up about. One is in downtown Columbus, so it's much more urban than most adventure races and the other is at a state park close to Athens, so that will involve more off-roading. Basically, it's a combination of canoeing, mountain biking, running, hiking, and orienteering, with the potential for other surprises sprinkled in just for fun. These two races take 6 hours each (there are others that take anywhere from 8 up to multiple days). I've never done anything like this before, but I'm anxious to give it a try and since you compete with a team, I won't be the only one suffering through!

So, I guess this summer will be about trying new stuff. I'm going to do two Olympic Distance Triathlons and if my body will let me, I'm going to try to run the marathon in October. And, just so I don't get too bored, I'm playing softball three nights a week :) You're only young once, right?

Life lessons

Things a thief does not want from your wallet:

• your drivers lisence (apparently my twin did not steal my wallet)
• your debit card (really? who knows...)
• all business cards
• CPR certification
• empty check book
• Krispy Kream gift certificate
• proof of car insurance
• coffee card with one punch in it
• starbucks card (not a coffe person, huh?)
• post-it notes to myself
• coupons
• blood donor card from the red cross

Things a thief does want from your wallet:

• a pre-paid discover card, not yet activated
• cash
• change
• little plastic piece that goes on the end of my ipod
• all video rental cards
• charles penzones card (sorry--it's empty)
• my punch cards for dog food

almost time

Spring is coming. I can smell it. It's cold, it's windy, but I can smell it. Small consolations.

my hematoma

I gave blood yesterday. About half way through it just stopped flowing, so they had to play with the needle to try to get it going again. I know this makes a lot of people squeamish, but I was fine, at least until the 3rd time it stopped and they had to push the needle back in (previously, they had just moved it side to side and out). When she pushed it back up into my already traumatized vein, I could feel it all the way into my toes. It's a feeling that I can't really describe, not a localized pain, but a general internal spasm. I must have flinched because she apologized, promising it would only take a minute, which was about 2 minutes this side of the truth.

When I was done, they warned me that I might bruise and I assured them I wasn't planning on doing any arm modelling in the next few days, so it should be OK. They warned me it might bruise, not that I would collect a pool of blood under my skin that would first cause a lump the size of a golf ball, then slowly disperse across my arm, causing me to look like I had been beaten. Someone better REALLY need that blood!

It's official

I have spring fever. I can't stand being cooped up inside anymore. I have lasted longer this year than ever before, but we've not had a typical winter. After over a week of cold weather accented with snow and ice, I'm itching to get back outside, ride my bike, run at a park. Of course, I could do these things now (especially the running part), but it's cold and now it's wet from the melting snow and it's not any fun. I am aching for long days and sticky nights where I can sit outside and read or take the dogs swimming. I even miss having mosquito bites.

the boundary of women's lib.

I don't like snow anymore. At least I don't like the snow we have right now. It's hard and icy and you can't do anything with it, except get stuck. I've gotten stuck twice now. The most frustrating part about it is that I had to have a guy (Chris, but the point isn't who it was) help me get out. I want to be a completely independent woman; I want to be able to do anything without the help of a man, and to do anything a man can do. But I can't. I can't push a car out of a rut the way a guy can--sometimes I'm just not strong enough. I can't go wherever I want to at night because a robber isn't going to think twice about robbing a 5' 3'' girl who barely weight 125, when they might keep walking if they saw a 6', 200 lb man. I told Chris once that I would take a bat to protect myself at the batting cages when I wanted to go at night. He told me to grab a bat and pretend I was going to hit him. He ripped the bat out of my hands. Point taken. The unfortunate reality is that, while woman do not need men, there are things that men do better, and concessions that we will always have to make simply because we are smaller and often not as physically strong. I'm not in any way trying to play the "poor little girl" card--quite the opposite. I wish there was something I could do about it. But, short of taking steroids, I don't think there's a lot a can do.

The freezing of a city

I love snow, I really do. I do not, however, love rush-hour snow. And I do not understand how 3 inches of snow can paralyze a city. Tuesday we got the only significant snow fall that we have gotten this entire winter, and I have to admit, as I was sitting at work, not working, instead watching the snow fall, I was excited. I didn't expect, though, that people would act like the appocolypse had come.

About 3:45, I left work and headed for the gym. The roads weren't bad, you just had to go a little slower than you normally would. NOAA said that the snow would continue, but there wasn't a blizzard or ice storm coming. So, I headed out, making my first in a long series of mistakes. I should have gone to the gym in Hilliard, much closer to my house; that's what common sense told me, but the gym at Polaris (by work, but 30 minutes from my house on a good day) had an abs class at 5:00, so I could get my 6 miles in and then top it off with some abs before I headed home. Plus, the treadmills at Polaris face the window and I would be able to watch the snow (I really did take this into consideration when I was deciding).

About 4:50, the announcement came. No abs class due to the bad weather. Crap. I decided to not be stubborn, instead to be responsible (so I thought) and head home since it was still snowing and it would probably take me a little longer than usual. No abs.

On the road. I headed towards the on ramp to 71 S and I sat without moving for 10 minutes before I began to lose my patience. I should take the back roads, I thought to myself. Clearly, no one is moving on the freeway. Mistake number 2. I turned around and attempted to make my way down Polaris Parkway (mistake number 3). It was 6:30 before I even made it off Polaris (about 1 mile). Go back to the freeway, I kept telling myself. But I was pinned in--I would have to forge ahead.

I now understand that I should have just waited to get on the freeway. This isn't the first time my impatience got the better of me, nor will it be the last. It was painfully clear the next day when my co-workers who did have the patience to wait in line, informed me that they arrived home after only an hour commute. Normally, this would sound ridiculous, but after my two hour and 45 minute trip, it sounded heavenly. What I don't understand is why I kept hearing reports on the radio about how awful ALL the freeways were. From the sound of the traffic report, you would have thought that the freeways looked like the pictures you see of throngs of people fleeing a hurricane. Apparently, that's what all the roads I traversed looked like. The freeways were just a little slow.

The other thing I don't understand is how that small amount of snow can make an entire city come to a stop. Syracuse, New York got 4 feet--that is about 45 inches more than we got. And they have somehow managed to survive. But in Columbus, we had to watch news reports from the "salt barns" and updates on the progress of the snows plows as if we had been hit by a blizzard.

I made several more mistakes on the way home--turned in the wrong places, mainly. Mistakes that on a normal day would have only set me back a few minutes, but on that day, proved monumental.

Pet peeves

• people who dry their hands with a paper towel and then use it to open the bathroom door
• the gym in January and February: it's not that I don't want people who made a new year's resolution to get in shape, but most of them will give up by March anyway, so the temporary inconvenience annoys me.
• bad customer service
• the word moisture
• people who claim to be dog people, when in reality, they are really only "their dog people" and they can't stand other people's dogs

There are more, I know, I just can't think of them right now...

January

I hate cold weather. I hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it! My hair froze between my door and starting my car this morning. Unacceptable.

I never knew...

It would be so hard to lose a dog that wasn't really mine, but mostly Chris's, and really only mine for three years. But he was a great dog and putting him to sleep was like ripping part of me out and stomping it on the floor as cliche as that sounds. It's just a dog, I tell myself, but still, since it happened almost two weeks ago, I have had reoccuring dreams most nights where he's alive. And in one of them he had "survived" our attempt to put him to sleep. I guess I have guilt. I shouldn't have guilt. I miss him.

the reason we're dating...

So I tell Chris my story about the pan and Lexi and although I know that he would never intentionally leave a pan on the floor, he simply said "Well, maybe next time you should just let her lick it to begin with." And he wasn't being an ass, just realistic.

The other reason we are together is that we let spiders live in the corner of our shower. I don't mean spiders plural as in multiple spiders at one time, just on several occasions, we have had spiders that live in the upper corner of our shower and neither of us wants to kill them. So instead we name them and watch them and I know that sounds absolutely creepy to most people, but not to us. And when I see something like that, he's the first person I'll call because I know that he'll appreciate it.

The ultimate in laziness

Last night, after going to the gym, then Shawn's game, I went to the pet store where I purchased two 40 lb bags of dog food (because we're going to try Lexi on diet food again), cat food and cat litter (to the tune of $70), then I went to the grocery store, where I did manage to only spend $40 for once. I finally got home with enough energy to get the groceries out, but not the dog food (I have to admit that I played the girl card and had Chris unload the dog food), I cooked dinner, and put the groceries away. At about 9:15, I collapsed on the couch to eat and made it through Law and Order before going to bed. The minute I put my head on the pillow, I heard the pan from cooking dinner, that I had not cleaned, hit the floor. This is where the pathetic part comes in--I decided that I was too tired to stop Lexi from destroying the house and anyway, the pan would be easier to clean once she had completely licked it out. My life...