Monday, February 23, 2009

Mourning

We are going to sell the family property in Dublin that has been in my family for almost 200 years. I've known this was coming for some time; as a family we have been negotiating with the City of Dublin to turn the property into a park so that the mounds and the history of the land can be protected. It all seems so hollow to me, though. There is no amount of money, no plaque, no dedication that can begin to account for the life that has been lived on that property. It can't account for the ways that we have been molded and changed into the people and the family we are today. Without question, I am crushed. I don't know how to mourn the loss of a space, when the space is so much more than simply that. I don't know how to get over the loss of the place that has comforted me through the loss of those that are dear to me. I define my sense of place through this land. I define my sense of self through this place. How do you say goodbye to that?