Shit my dogs ate because I'm too lazy to put stuff away

(in the last couple of weeks)...underwear, lots of underwear. I know, I know, get a hamper, right? Wrong. They can open it. I now have to keep my dirty laundry in ANOTHER ROOM. Socks. Shorts (well, just the crotch, so I suppose I could wear them as a skirt now.) Condoms (seriously, seriously, seriously gross). (Sorry mom! At least I'm being safe. And for the record, these were in the trash in the bathroom--they opened the can.) A loaf of bread. Flour. Powerdered Sugar. Brown Sugar (I've been doing a lot of baking, don't judge). The garbage that I forgot to put out. Tampons (again, GROSS!). And, because they were apparently feeling a little unhealthy from all the other crap, some lettuce. Show of hands...who wants to be me?