AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think that it's finally time for Chris and me to go our separate ways. It's really been a long time coming as many of my friends can attest, I'm sure. I'm not particularly bitter, and since we've dragged our relationship on well beyond it's lifetime, I'm not particularly weepy. I'm sad, of course, because there are many reasons that I've stayed with Chris and that I love(d) (when does that end, exactly) him. In any case, the point of this blog is not to drivel on about that, but to complain because I have ABSOLUTELY no idea where I'm going to live. Of course I will bring Larkin with me and I would prefer to bring Bear as well, but I seem to be hitting a huge wall. No one will accept Rottweilers in their rental properties. Even the pet-friendly listings that say they accept all dogs won't accept "breeds determined to be aggressive." This makes me angry on so many levels. In the first place, I need a place to live. But, in the grander scheme of things, my dogs are not aggressive. No Rottweiler that I've ever met that was loved and cared for has been aggressive. They are loving, cuddly, lap dogs that like nothing more than to curl up with you on the couch. Yet, I cannot find a place to live because someone decided that they were a threat. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. The fact that I want to keep both of them doesn't seem to be the issue. The fact that either of them is a rott is the issue, so two or one, I will run into the same problem.

And yet, I continue to write

So, after posting a blog about how much I hate my blog, I have subsequently continued to blog. I guess I was crying wolf a little bit. Or, just saying that even the hatred I harbor for my blog is not enough to make me stop writing more for me to hate.

I have new hair. I cut off almost a foot of hair. Now, I have a bag of hair in my car, waiting to be sent to Locks of Love so they can make a wig out of it. I hope it makes a nice wig. My remaining hair is wonderful, and dark. Because if you're going to spend $100 getting your hair did, you better be sure that people will notice when you're done. People definitely noticed. And I love it, and I better, since I can't really glue the hair back on (although I guess I could since I still have the bag of hair).

Oh, and...

Lexi broke the handle off of the refridgerator several weeks ago because she wanted in it very badly, but the child lock was fastened. Neither Chris nor I could even be mad because it was such an amazing feat of strength and perserverence, that we were just in awe. In the picture it's not completely off yet, but it fell off shortly after I took the picture. (Pay no attention to my dirty stove!)

I hate my blog

I've been reading other people's blogs today, mainly because I'm bored at work. I have work to do, I'm just lacking the motivation to do it (story of my life). Anyway, I've decided that I can't stand my blog because it's not particularly funny or insightful or witty. It doesn't sound like the blogs that I've been entertaining myself with today. Not that it should sound just like them, but there is a certain intangible quality that good blogs have. Mine does not have it. I should just stop writing...

In other news, I've decided not to run the marathon. Maybe next year.

I wish I knew then...

I guess part of getting older is gaining perspective on things, on life. There aren't a lot of decisions I've made that I regret, but, given the chance, there are a lot of things I would have done differently.

I feel like I've done a great deal of changing lately, and most of it, I hope, is for the better. Don't get me wrong, I've got a long way to go and I have no intentions of ever stagnating, but I'm starting to see things with a broader perspective. Maybe I'm just late in developing. I know a lot of people who changed dramatically in college and then that was who they were/are. I don't know. It's just that lately the little things that would have previously bothered me haven't seemed like such a big deal.

I had a really horrible experience with a co-worker during a training that I was running the other day. Three years ago (when I did trainings for a living), it probably would have crushed me, or made me implode, I'm not sure which. And while I still had to tell people all about the details after it happened, and I'm harboring a fair amount of distrust for this person, it didn't impact my life with the magnitude it would have previously.

About a month ago, my co-ed softball team played in an all-night tournament. It's a very long story, but in brief, our pitcher got drunk off his ass and embarassed the entire team by throwing a temper-tantrum on the mound and then walking off in the middle of an inning and hitting everything he could get to with a softball bat. There were other things that went on as well, but without that catalyst, they would not have ruined the evening. I do wish that I had handled myself with more composure when it was actually happening, but maybe that, too will come. The great part is that I just quit playing with them (I finished out the tournament, but I'm not playing in our league anymore). And while this may sound childish, it's not. It's great. It doesn't matter to me. I'm not mad anymore; I'm not angry at our pitcher. I just don't want to be associated with a team that acts like that because it's not who I am. Suddenly, winning a stupid softball game doesn't seem so important. So I quit.

Bring it on!

I finished my last tri of the season a couple of weeks ago. I was a little slower than I wanted, but I was tired from playing in a softball tournament in the 90 degree heat the day before, so I gave myself a pass on the few minutes I would have like to have made up.

Now to the marathon training...this is unchartered territory for me and it's both exciting and incredible intimidating at the same time. On one hand, I have confidence that as long as my knee doesn't bother me, I'll be able to do it. On the other hand, though, I think about what it will be like to continue to run for more than 4 hours without stopping (hopefully) and that seems really daunting. And sometimes it sounds downright crazy!

Survivor

I didn't make a video AGAIN this year. But I was in Ann Arbor for work last week and I happened to catch a commercial that said they would be hosting open casting calls at the Ann Arbor Art Fair Thursday and Friday, so I decided it was a sign...After we got done Friday afternoon I headed down, turned in my application, and made a video. It wasn't nearly as cool as the real video I had been imagining, but let's face it--I will be a procrastinator for the rest of my life, so the chances of me making a video next year are no better than this year. At least I'm in the pool of millions of other people who want to be on the show. I'm sure they'll call...any day now...probably Jeff Probst himself...so don't tie up my phone lines, ok?